You married your best friend and for a long time, you were both happy. It couldn’t have been better. You know each other’s flaws and love each other despite it all. On your worst days, you always had your best friend to turn to. Your spouse was everything you needed — until things changed.
It doesn’t matter how long you’ve known each other or how perfect of a match you were in the beginning. People grow up and if you’ve grown apart from your partner, it’s time to tell a family attorney in Denver, CO, about your decision to divorce and get shared custody of your children. But does this mean losing your spouse and your best friend?
Ending on a Respectful Note
It’s possible to preserve the amicable relationship you have with your spouse but it requires some effort. You are ending a marriage and no matter how hard you try to minimize the pain, there will be some wounds that need to heal. Talk it out and listen to each other just like you did when you were best friends. All the time you’ve spent together will either make you sensitive to each other’s feelings or completely unaware of how your actions have been hurting the other. The divorce process may take its toll on you and make you want to say hurtful things, but refrain from laying all the blame on one party. Accept your own shortcomings without blaming yourself for everything either. You could be two amazing people who are just not meant to go beyond best friends.
Setting Boundaries
You were best friends before you got married, and now you’re trying to keep the cordial relationship alive. But don’t fall into old, romantic habits just because you’re used to them. If you truly want to be good friends moving forward, remember why the marriage failed. Set your boundaries and be just best friends instead of making things complicated for yourself, your children, and your potential new partners. As best friends, you should both know that some things feel easy or tempting, but think about the long-term effects on your relationship. If you give in to your passion and have the illusion that things can be fixed, but then they don’t get fixed, it will be harder to fix the friendship at that point.
Supporting Each Other
Divorce makes it hard to parent children when there is resentment on both sides. But, the one thing you shouldn’t do is involve your children in a battle for which parent is better. If your former spouse is not able to make it to your child’s special school event, be the bigger person and don’t whisper negative things to your child’s ear. Remind your child that they are loved and that their other parent would have been there if they could. Your best friend will appreciate you covering for them, and they will do the same for you. Even as a divorced couple, learn to still work as a team for your child’s sake.
You don’t have to end all ties with your former spouse if you want to remain friends. It takes effort to keep a good relationship alive, but it’s doable.
